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29 changes: 29 additions & 0 deletions inst/topics/toddlers_R-Crazy
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#things maniacal four-year-olds do to give you a heart attack...
# author Katherine von Duyke:
c(
"I don't love you anymore!",
"Runs into traffic...",
"approaches outlet with fork",
"attempts to brush teeth with neosporin",
"loads your iphone into Dishwasher",
"Threatens to call protective services if you don't buy X",
"Tells big boy doewn street that you will beat him up",
"Tells mother of big boy down the street you will beat him up",
"Screams, raises pitch and volume, screams again, repeat",
"Tells mom when dad attempts to discipline",
"Tells dad when mom attempts to discipline",
"Calls 911 to complain that he/she didn't get dessert",
"Shoves beads up nose, after shoving toys up nose",
"Shows pocketful of pilfered candy after leaving store",
"Moons traffic from back of van",
"Asks for water after lights out for the 5th time",
"Hits you in the face",
"Hits you in the balls",
"Takes your cell phone while on an important call",
"Screams loudly while you drag him/her out of store",
"Screams and wakes up baby",
"Screams for the umpteenth time",
"Did I mention screams?",
"Goes down slide backwards standing up",
"Runs out of the house naked"
)